Christmas Cramps
by Light Seeker 001
Summary: Hey, since they're just starting Christmas in November, might as well do a Christmas story. Tails, feeling that Christmas has become too commercialized, stumbles upon a store with a magic book. Meanwhile, Dr. Eggman devices a plan to make the best Christmas ever. For him anyway.


We open our special to, what else, but a snowy Christmas season in Mobius. Carols everywhere, decorations on houses, and people dressed up for winter. And let's not forget the children playing in the snow, having snowball fights, building snowmen and snow women, and snow forts. Everyone is happy...except one. Young Miles "Tails" Prower sat on a snow covered bench, swinging his legs back and forth, and unlike the other kids, he wasn't smiling. His head was bowing down and he looked sad. He heard something crunching in the snow next to him. It was his friend, Cream the Rabbit.

"Tails," she asked, concerned. "Why are you here alone? And...why aren't you smiling? Don't you know what time it is?"

He nodded. "I know...but, I just don't feel happy for Christmas this year."

"Why not? I mean, you got the TV Christmas movies, Santa Clauses at the molls, and Christmas presents under the tree-"

"That's why I don't feel happy."

Cream was stunned. "You don't like getting presents?! Are you naughty?!"

Tails shook his head quickly. "No! No! Nothing like that!" He went back to frowning. "Recently, I've noticed something about Christmas. People forget the true spirit of giving. Nowadays, Christmas is nothing but one great, big fancy excuse for kids to scream at their parents, 'Buy me this toy! Buy me that game! Buy me this movie! Buy me these clothes!' And they never say thanks to them. They thank Santa. If you ask me, I think even Santa's being overworked because of Christmas." If there is one, he thought to himself.

Cream puffed a little. "Well!" She wanted to argue with him, but then she thought again. "I guess Santa needs a break every once in a while. Maybe you're right. Christmas is the only season where kids show their true colors: spoiled rotten."

Tails got up and started walking from the bench. "I just want a Christmas that doesn't symbolize commercialism. But true happiness. Anyway, I better hurry. I have to decorate Freedom HQ for the Christmas party that's next week. I have to find something that's traditional."

Cream followed him. "That's going to be a problem. The majority of the stores are closed."

"There's bound to be one somewhere. Come on, maybe you can help."

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In a flash of blue, Sonic had the entire base decorated with streamers, glass balls, plastic snowflakes and other ornaments that would befit the holiday season.

"This party is going to be a blast! And I can't wait to see everyone's smiling faces! I sure hope Tails is."

He was well aware of Tails' recent attitude toward the season now and he told him to try to remember what Christmas does: make everyone happy.

"They're only happy because of the toys, Sonic!" he shouted. "They don't care about the spirit of giving!"

Sonic hoped this party would change his mind. At that moment, Sally came in to inspect the place.

"Nice work," she commended.

"Thanks. This is sure to make everyone jolly when they come in. Even Tails."

At the moment he said his little friend's name, Sally frowned. "I hope he is. His downer attitude is being contagious. Some people are acting like...well..."

"Scrooges?" laughed Sonic.

"Exactly. If Tails doesn't stop, this party is going to be full of Grinches."

Sonic went back to marveling his work. "Don't worry. This will cheer him up."

Secretly, though, both he and Sally agreed with Tails...maybe a little.

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No such luck. Tails and Cream and her Chao friend, Cheese, tried everything but they couldn't find an open store.

"Guess we're going to have a party without those decorations," Tails thought gloomily.

"Don't say that! There has to be...Wait, that one is open!"

To the right of one of the rows of closed stores was a brick wall store. Decorations of all sorts of sizes, shapes and colors were in it. It looked like the store Tails was looking for. Smiling, the two-tailed fox entered the store. Whatever gloom was in his mind was all gone that moment. The inside was even better than it was on the outside. Snowmen, Santa Clauses, reindeer, elves, Mrs. Clauses, and other decorations were all around. Suddenly, Cream felt something kick her heel. She jumped back and saw an army of toy soldiers marching off to shelves just left of her. Tails ducked his head just in time to avoid a fighter jet toy that flew over his head.

"I see we have new customers!" said a deep jolly voice...coming from a man, obviously the shopkeeper, with a white beard and wearing a red and green sweater.

"Are you Santa?" asked Cream innocently.

"No. I'm just dressing up for the occasion. So, what can I get you?"

"These," said Tails, showing him a list of things he needed for the party.

"Hmm...I'll see if I have these in the back. Wait right here."

Tails and Cream sat on a bench while Cheese sat on Cream's head, all three of them waiting for the shopkeeper. Something caught the young fox's eye. A large brown book sitting on a pedestal. It's cover had a yuletide log and a mistletoe as the illustration.

"Must be a Christmas storybook," he thought. "What better way to pass the time?"

He took the book of the pedestal and sat back onto the bench again. Cream looked at it with curiosity.

"What kind of book is that?"

"Dunno."

He opened the book, but did not find any normal Christmas story he had ever read. Weird texts and illustrations were all over it, but he recognized some of the happy illustrations as drawings of Santa Claus, snowflakes, Christmas feasts, and other Christmas traditions.

"Maybe I can use this thing for my party," Tails suggested, flipping the pages. "I wonder what this is." He stopped at one page began to read the text as best as he could, but then a hand snatched the book away. "Hey!"

"That's for horses," the shopkeeper said, looking angry. "And why did you take this book?"

"It's got Christmas stuff on it, so I thought it would be-" Tails tried to say, but was interrupted.

"It's dangerous! Can't you read the label?"

"What label, Santa?" asked Cream.

"I'm not Santa, and the label's on the pedestal!"

Tails looked at the stand where he found it. "I don't see it."

"It's right over...Oh." The shopkeeper then reached into his pockets. "Here it is! I forgot to put it on the thing!" Then he turned to the animals. "I left your decorations outside. Now leave, and try to forget this book."

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But Tails and Cream didn't forget...especially when they saw something strange. Snowmen. DANCING snowmen! Children were either dancing with them...or running away, screaming for their parents. Tails and Cream looked at this odd scene with confusion and shock.

"What illustration was on that book?" Cream asked Tails. Cheese squeaked in awe.

"Snowmen."

"Do you think that book..."

The two children looked back at the store. Suddenly, they heard a loud dinging sound. The snowman stopped dancing.

"Christmas spellbook?" asked Cream in awe.

"Christmas spellbook." confirmed Tails. Then he smiled wickedly.

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"Got them!" called Tails, happily. He was holding a box of the ornaments needed for the party.

"Thanks, buddy," Sonic said, taking it from him. "You sure look happy."

"Let's just say I found a way to make Christmas happy for me."

"Glad to hear it. We have to get ready for that feast."

"I'll catch up with that later. I have to buy me a Christmas storybook. For the kids?"

Sonic nodded, then took off running when he saw Amy Rose running after him dangling a mistletoe over her head. Tails smiled wickedly again.

"You're thinking of going after that book, aren't you?" Cream asked him. He nodded. "But the man said..."

"Cream. It's Christmas. What's so dangerous about Christmas? Besides, if it's the only way to get that will stop this Christmas commercialism. I just have to get it without getting caught by the shopkeeper." That's when he eyed Cheese. "Cheese, would you like to do something for me?"

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Meanwhile, Dr. Robotnik was having his own Christmas fun ready: a large Christmas tree...with empty Egg Grape Chambers for the decorations. These pods extract a creature's life energy and leave only a withered husk when it's complete. And there were enough to fill an entire city. Robotnik smiled with glee. "And after I have everyone in the pods, my Christmas tree will glow brighter than any other and I will have my own gift: no more Freedom Fighters! Now then, E-10,000s."

An army of ninja-like robots appeared, all of them armed with what looked like vaccum cleaners.

"You know what to do."

They nodded and disappeared without a trace.

"Merry Christmas to me," sang the doctor.

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Meanwhile, the shopkeeper was preparing to close shop for tonight. Too bad he didn't notice the little Chao grab the Christmas spellbook and fly away with it through the air vent. Cheese handed Tails the book when he got outside.

"Thanks, Cheese," he said. "Now we find the right spell for the party."

"You sure about this?" asked Cream, concerned. "I mean, what if there is something dangerous?"

"Do you really think Christmas would be dangerous?" Tails asked her. "Besides, I want to see the look on Sonic's face when I make it snow at the party!"

Neither one of them noticed the army of robot ninjas following them.

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By the time the two Mobians got to the party, everything was booming. Even Tails had to admit, Sonic's decorations were truly jolly.

"Nice to join the party," Amy Rose said to Cream and Tails.

"It really is," Cream agreed. Cheese chirped in agreement as well.

"I hope the food is any good," Tails said, licking his lips.

"It is. Trust me," Amy said. "They got a giant turkey in the oven already."

She ran after Sonic after seeing him duck behind the tree.

"Very nice," Cream said. "I just hope Sonic doesn't find himself under any mistletoe."

"With Amy carrying one around," Tails laughed. "I doubt that." That's when he opened up the spellbook.

"I still have my doubts on that," Cream said.

"What's the worst that can happen?" He sat down on a bench, and turned a few pages, careful that no one saw him. "Hmm. I wonder what this snowflake one does?"

As he read the words, he realized something. They sound an awful lot like a familiar song, Let It Snow. His eyes widened when he felt something cold touch his nose. He looked up...and saw snow floating down from the ceiling!

"Hey!" someone shouted. "Who let the door open?"

"No one did!" another shouted. "Snow's falling from the ceiling!"

"Oh, man!" Tails heard Sally shout. "There better not be a hole in the roof!"

"Maybe I should try another," Tails muttered.

He read another passage. The snow stopped, thank goodness, but people were looking around confused.

"Let's see what that one does," Cream asked Tails, pointing to a picture of what looked like a feast.

The text that came with it sounded an awful lot like Deck the Halls.

"Amy!" Cream and Tails heard Sonic shout. "For the last time, I'm not going under that mistletoe!"

Finally, Amy had him cornered at the end of a table. "You cannot run away now! Kiss me, you...you..."

"Amy, what is it?"

Amy backed away and gasped in surprise. "Giant...eggnog!" Almost instantly, she was swept away in a wave of eggnog.

Sonic turned around. He gasped at the giant glasses of eggnog that was popping on the banquet tables (one of them was tilted over and empty, solving the mystery of the wave). Suddenly, something plopped in front of him. A plate of chilli dogs tied in wrapping paper. He cautiously ate one. He smiled instantly.

"By the gods, this is the best weenie I ever had! Who made this?"

Tails, Cream and Cheese smiled. All around, people were getting their favorite foods on the table, only it was ten times tastier than normal food.

"Can I have a turn?" asked Cream.

"Sure," Tails said, handing the book to her.

She flipped a few pages, then she stopped at what looked like a picture of toys. The song/text was Wooden Soldiers on Parade.

People shrieked when something came popping out from under the tree. Make that an army of somethings. Toy soldiers, teddy bears, boats, airplanes, and other toys came crawling out and jumping into people's arms.

"Who's doing this?" a kid asked, holding a soldier action figure. "I always wanted one of these!"

"Yeah!" a girl holding a clown doll agreed. "Is it Santa? Or one of his helpers?"

"You think we should tell them?" whispered Cream to Tails.

"No way! If people found out about this, they'll be begging for favors! It will prove my point about people not caring about the Christmas spirit."

"I don't know," a familiar voice said behind them. "Keeping a secret from everyone that makes everyone happy? That sounds like something bad kids would do."

The two whizzed around. Vanilla, Cream's mother was right behind them, wearing a green and red dress and a wreath hat. She looked stern. "And I like to know where you got that book."

Cream, Tails and Cheese looked at each other.

"We..." started Cream.

"We found it." Tails interrupted. "Lying in the road. Someone dropped it and we tried to find him, but we couldn't catch up with him."

"Speaking of lying," Vanilla said, frowning.

"It's true," Cream said sincerely. "I tried to help, but we lost sight of the man. We found out that it's magic after we brought snowmen to life like Frosty."

"Tails," her mother said to the fox. "Is this your idea of a merry Christmas? Using magic to make things...wacky? And who knows what kind of magic is in that book?"

"I just wanted a Christmas that wasn't full of commercialism. People don't care about the spirit anymore. All they care about is giving toys to their kids to keep them from screaming and to themselves to feel better."

Vanilla sat next to Tails. "Tails," she said in a motherly tone. "I see what you're trying to say. Christmas is all about the gifts these days and people forget the true meaning. But that's not true for everyone."

"I know, but that's what I've been seeing lately."

"Do you know anyone who has fallen to Christmas commercialism?"

Tails thought for a minute. "Maybe Sally and Sonic. This party..."

"Is a way to express their love for the holiday, and a way to reunite all their friends and family. Does that sound like commercialism?"

Tails looked down at the book. He shook his head. "No."

"And look at me," the older rabbit went on. "I bring my daughter a gift or two not because she wants it. But because she earns it. You have to earn your gifts by being nice. Now I'm sure parents tell their badly behaved kids that so they can get gifts they want, but for the truly nice kids, they really earned them. And I don't think using spellbooks to flood the party with snow and making toys pop out of trees is true earning."

Cream then said, "Mom, we didn't find that book lying on the ground."

"I thought so," she said, smiling. "Where did you find it?"

"We found it..."

Suddenly, people started screaming. An army of robot ninjas burst through the windows and buildings, destroying everything in their paths. Soon, they started shooting people, vaporizing them almost instantly.

"Robotnik!" shouted Sonic. "Why ruin Christmas of all holidays?!"

He started spin-dashing the robots, bashing their heads off and smashing them into walls. Amy took out her hammer and squished a few flat. Sally kicked a few in the nuts and bolts and tossed a few more out the window.

"I could keep this up all day-" she started, but she got vaporized too!

"Sally!" shouted Sonic. Zap!

"Sonic!" shouted Amy. Zap!

"Kids, run!" shouted Vanilla, taking the two and hiding behind a shelf.

"Well, well, well," a sinister voice hissed. Dr. Robotnik hovered over the now empty party hall, smiling wickedly. "Now this is one heck of a party. Nothing in comparison to mine, though."

"Ro-butt-nick!" shouted Tails. "What did you do?!"

"Nothing...yet. All I did was send everyone to the Egg Grapes. They're going to be the batteries I need to light up my Christmas decorations!"

"You foul..."

"Oh? And what can you do, squirt?"

Tails flipped through the pages of the book until he found the text he was looking for. Upon saying the words, more toy soldiers started popping out of the tree. Robotnik laughed at the sight.

"This is your plan?!"

He laughed again, but stopped when they started shooting BBs at him. Now he was grunting in pain.

"Oh, that's it! Burn them!"

The ninja robots turned and open fired upon the toy soldiers.

"I would love to open your Christmas gifts," the doctor went on. "But I got my own Christmas to celebrate! And I think..."

In an instant, a robotic claw grabbed the spellbook.

"Wouldn't want anymore help anymore. That would ruin the surprise the gifts would bring! There's a reason they hide them."

He and the robots took off with Tails and Cream trying to follow them, but lost sight of him.

"We have to get that book and our friends back!" Tails shouted.

"I'm with you!" Cream shouted. "Mom, wait here until we get everyone back."

Vanilla looked hesitant. "I...I don't know about this."

"Vanilla," Tails said reassuringly. "I fought Robotnik multiple times. Your daughter's safe with me. I promise no harm will come to her."

Vanilla nodded. "Okay. Just be safe." The two children took off to Robotropolis, leaving her alone with her worries.

"Now don't worry about them," an old man's voice said. "They know what they're doing. Not so sure with Robotnik though."

"Who are you?" asked Vanilla, sensing no danger from this strange man.

"Just a friendly shopkeeper. And if you don't mind me saying, I would like to help those two."

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"Oh, Christmas tree. Oh, Christmas tree," sang the doctor to the captives in the Egg Grape Christmas tree. "How lovely are your branches." He laughed to himself. "One flick of a button and I will have myself a merry little Christmas!"

"It may have to wait for next year, fat man!" shouted a girl's voice.

He turned around fast and saw a rabbit and a fox, both looking peeved.

"Let go of my friends," demanded Tails. "And give me my book!"

"I don't see your name on it," the doctor sneered. "In fact, where did you get this?"

Tails muttered something, but only Cream could hear him.

"What was that?" Robotnik asked. Tails muttered again, slightly louder. "What?"

Tails had enough. "I stole it," he said loud and clear. "I found it in a shop and..."

"Oh, ho, someone's naughty," Robotnik chuckled. "Well, it doesn't matter. I've been playing with this book a little...and check out what I can do."

An army of toy soldiers (all of them looking like Swat Bots), airplanes, tanks, teddy bears, female soldiers and Beanie Babies popped out of the floor, all of them bearing Robotnik's logo somewhere on their bodies.

"I think we can take on an army of toys," snickered Tails, jumping into the fray. "Cream, Cheese, don't let him turn on that machine!"

Cream and Cheese jumped onto the platform where Robotnik was, but halted immediately when he placed his finger inches over the button.

"Ah, ah! One more step and everyone dies!" he barked.

"Um...Tails?" she asked, worried.

"I got my hands full here!" shouted Tails, narrowly avoiding a soldier's gun fire (with real bullets this time!). "I'm trying to get to you!"

"Why don't you just hand over that book like a good boy, Kintobor, and maybe you won't be punished?" said a familiar voice. Well, familiar to Tails and Cream.

"Who's there?!" shouted Robotnik!

"Me." It was the shopkeeper.

"Oh, hi." Tails said sheepishly.

"This is why I said Christmas magic can be dangerous in the wrong hands."

"No you didn't. You just said that the book is magic."

"I did? Oh, well. Well, I'm saying it now!"

"Ahem," coughed Robotnik. "Unless you're here to watch the magic, get out and let me light up my tree!"

"Oh, I will," the shopkeeper said smiling. "Just as long as you don't read the spell on page 12."

"What are you doing?!" shouted Cream.

"Trust me," he went on. "It will be the page that will give you want you deserve."

Robotnik smiled. With his finger still over the tree's button, he opened the book with his shoe and turned to page twelve. "Don't why this is in a Christmas book, but hey, I get what I want!" He started chanting a few words, and Tails, Cream, Cheese and the Egg Grapes' occupants watched in horror as the book started glowing. When he was finished, Robotnik smiled wickedly.

"Now I will get..."

Suddenly, there came a loud howling. Robotnik paid no heed.

"As I was saying..."

Howl.

"As I..."

"For crying out loud, what is that?!"

He got his answer when something huge fell through the ceiling and landed on its feet.

"WHAT IS THAT?!" screamed everyone except the smiling shopkeeper, who just said, "Krampus."

The creature was huge with dark fur and had a menacing, wrinkled face. Around its waist was a belt made of cow bells and it carried a bunch of branches in one hand. As it looked around, it opened its mouth, revealing an inhumanely long tongue.

"What-us?" asked Robotnik.

"Krampus is the fellow that accompanies St. Nicholas to punish naughty children while good kids get gifts," the shopkeeper explained.

"Never heard of him," Tails said, whimpering as the creature got close to him and sniffed him for a second before wandering off.

"Well, he decided to retire after people thought the idea of a guy like him would be a part of Christmas. Said they don't want kids to be scared of Christmas."

"So, what exactly does he do?" asked Cream, hiding from the Krampus' gaze. "And will he go away?"

"Nope," replied the shopkeeper. "Not until he has punished the wicked."

"Well, as long as I have the book," laughed Robotnik. "I guess that makes me his controller, and I say Tails and Cream are the naughty ones."

But the shopkeepr chuckled. "That guy has been around before the book was even written! It won't serve you! And besides, out of the two naughty people in this room," he said, giving a humorous look at Tails, who chuckled sheepishly. "You're the naughtiest person ever."

Krampus seemed to agree, making a hissing chuckle as he brandished his branches.

"Now wait," sputtered Robotnik, backing away. "Let's be reasonable. HELP!"

Before he could run away, the creature tackled him into another room. Everyone couldn't see what was going on, but they could all hear Robotnik shouting and cursing over the loud sounds of THWACK, THWACK, THWACK! of the branches.

"I did say he'll get what he deserved," the shopkeeper chuckled. "A good spanking." Then he turned to the tree. "Now let's get you down now. Don't want to be late for your own party now."

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The freed prisoners were taken back to the party and started cleaning up the joint, but they stopped when snow did it for them. As the magic from the book repaired the damage caused by Robotnik, Tails slammed it shut and placed it on a table. He looked up at the shopkeeper and looked down in shame.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted a Christmas that had real spirit in it. Not one that was one great big product of business."

"I know. People forget what Christmas is all about," the shopkeeper lectured. "People just use Christmas just to buy toys. And people can be spoiled on this time of year."

"Vanilla told me this stuff already," Tails interrupted.

"Then why should you hear this from me when you already met someone who is probably wiser than me?"

"I'm sorry. I learned my lesson. At least I have friends who do know the true meaning of Christmas."

"You sure do," Sonic said, giving his buddy a noogie. "I know a real Christmas ain't about gifts. It's about family. Shoot, why am I saying this? Everyone knows that already!"

"Because of..." started Tails.

"Commercialism!" finished...well, everyone in the room.

"Exactly."

"I guess some things about Christmas really can't change," the fox said. "But who needs them? I'm not going let this commercialism ruin MY Christmas."

"Glad you learned your lesson," the shopkeeper agreed. "Oh, and just in case you need a reminder not to take things from me or anyone else..."

THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!

Tails lied on his belly, rubbing his sore buttocks.

"I think I want a sack of coal instead of having that Krampus invade my house."

We wish you another cocktail,  
we wish you another cocktail,  
we wish you another cocktail,  
and a happy...wait.

We wish you a Merry Christmas,  
we wish you a Merry Christmas,  
we wish you a Merry Christmas,  
and a Happy New Year.

Good tidings we bring to you and your kin.  
Good tidings from Christmas and a Happy New Year.

We wish you a Merry Christmas,  
we wish you a Merry Christmas,  
we wish you a Merry Christmas,  
and a Happy New Year.

Good tidings we bring wherever you are.  
Good tidings from Christmas and a Happy New Year.


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